My Friend, Chuck Stophel

These last two weeks have been weeks of heavy sorrow for me and all of us at Hospitality House.  Losing two dear friends who gave so much to see that the vision for this ministry would become reality has been hard.  Not as hard on me, as it has been for their families and that is where my prayers are focused now.

People always want to hear the story of how Hospitality House was started.  It's a great story, and I never tire of telling how God miraculously brought this vision about.  He used complete strangers that would do amazing things to make sure His ministry of hospitality would be a reality in a short period of time.  One of the first strangers that came across our path and propelled us into action was Chuck Stophel.

We met Chuck in 2005 through a mutual friend.  Chuck, being a heart transplant recipient, was already in the hospitality ministry by providing an apartment near Saint Francis hospital for transplant patients and families who needed lodging for the before, during and after needs around the transplant process. We had an immediate connection because of this.


Chuck was very excited to hear about the vision of Hospitality House and vowed to help in any way he could.  We had just formed the non-profit, had no money, no house, and nothing really except a vision.  But to Chuck, that was all we needed!

One day that year, Chuck called me and said, "Toni, I just ran into a family at Saint Francis ICU waiting room and they need your help. They don't have anywhere to stay, tragic situation and you need to come meet with them ASAP!"  I said, "Chuck, I have nowhere to put this family, we have nothing, no house, no money, nothing! What can I possibly do?"  He encouraged me to just come up to the hospital and meet them and hear their story.  So I did. (Have you ever tried to tell Chuck Stophel that you CAN'T do something?)

The family was Mickey and Judy Bell, from Farris, Oklahoma.  Tragic story, yes, and they needed help.  I called Chuck back to report that Brooke and I had met with them, but expressed my frustration of not being able to help them because we didn't have a house yet.  He quickly said, "You know what, I don't have a transplant patient or family staying in the transplant apartment, why don't you use that to get your feet wet in this and we'll go from there."  WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?  Chuck generously shared what he had available so that a family could be served and God could show me what He had in mind for Hospitality House's near future.

So, Brooke and I readied the apartment and checked them in.  You can see the Bell Family Story here:
http://www.tulsahospitalityhouse.org/multimedia.htm

You see, when God had shared the vision of Hospitality House with me, I could envision a huge house, multiple bedrooms, bathrooms, common areas, which is the typical model of hospital hospitality houses.  God had a different plan for our beginnings.  By Chuck allowing us to use the transplant apartment to serve our first family, it opened my mind to how the ministry of hospitality is not confined to only one model of a building. The ministry of hospitality is about people.

Six months later, I received a call from the CEO of Hillcrest Medical Center that they had just bought an 8-unit apartment complex near their campus and wanted to offer it to us for $1 a year lease donation!  If Chuck had not been willing to share what he had so that we could have that experience, I doubt my mind would have been ready to accept this amazing gift from God through Hillcrest Medical Center.

Chuck and I have remained friends since that experience.  We would visit on the phone about the growth of Hospitality House and his music and speaking ministries.  We were great encouragers for each other, although I knew I always walked away with more encouragement after each encounter.

We had lunch earlier this year, Cosmos, our favorite spot on Brookside.  He shared that he was battling cancer again, but extremely positive and still encouraging. He asked me about my life and what God was doing.  I shared about my new passion of ballroom dancing and my new friends through that.  He loved it!  Chuck is a very passionate and demonstrative character. He wanted to know more so we talked for about 30 minutes about dancing. LOL!  He told me that day, "Ok, Toni, you've got me excited about this.  When I recover from this round of treatments and get my legs back under me, we are going to dance!"

I kept up with his battle though phone calls and facebook posting and continued to pray.  I went to the hospital two weeks ago to check in on Chuck's progress in rehab.  He and Sara were eating in the dining room on the Rehab floor and when he saw me he said "Oh My Goodness, Toni Moore, what are you doing here?!"  I reminded him that I was here for our first dance!  We laughed and encouraged each other again in our lives. He was so ready to finish up his rehab so he could go home with his wonderful family and get back to work and ministry.

God had a bigger plan.  Chuck went back into ICU last week. Yesterday he was looking into the eyes of his wife Sara and their children, and then... he was looking into the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ.  We had prayed for a healing and in a moment, it was given, completely and eternally.  Chuck made the journey from his temporary home and body to his eternal home and glorified healed body.

He was a loving, committed husband, an amazing dad, incredible friend, wonderful vocalist and communicator of the gospel message.  He left a huge heart-print on so many peoples' lives across this country.  I'm one of them.  Thank you, Chuck, for your passion, humor, excitement, encouragement, gifts and for glorifying God in your life and your death.  I know you are praising God face to face now in song, words and dancing.  I will see you again, my friend, so save me a dance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEihOGxlRFM - Chuck Stophel, When Life Gives You Lemons

After hearing cancer survivor and Tulsa fireman John Buck's story, how could I say no to this push up challenge? Like most middle-aged mother of 2 teens, I would have to say that upper body strength is not in my top 10 things to improve this year. However, after starting a women's fitness boot camp class 4 weeks ago, I knew I could incorporate John's push up challenge into my routine.
Do I love push ups? NO! They are hard; I don't see immediate results right after I do them; Sometimes my drill sergeant, oops, I mean fitness instructor, has me doing so many combos of them, I get sick to my stomach. At the end of each session, I always think "I can't do any more!"
Then I think of John going through his battle with cancer last year and I realize my little struggle with pushups is nothing compared to what he went through. His treatment was hard, no immediate results, and caused many days of sickness. John didn't give up, so I won't give up either. Pushing onward and Pushing upward!
I am seeking sponsors to join me in this challenge. You can sponsor me by pledging a penny, dime, quarter, or $1.00 per push I completed. The challenge began on Feb 15th and ends April 5th. 50 days of push ups representing 50 days of John's treatments.
Before you make your pledge, just know that I can now do about 240 pushups a week! You do the math. :)
You can email me with your push up pledge, or join me and get sponsors to pledge money for you doing pushups. All proceeds benefit families facing a medical crisis away from home at Hospitality House of Tulsa. For more information go to www.tulsahospitalityhouse.org/events.htm Thanks for your support!

Half a Hundred for Hospitality Challenge

Guest Blogger: John Buck

Just over a year ago, I was diagnosed with a rare form of head and neck cancer. My wife and I sought treatment out of state. My treatment required that we relocate about 500 miles away from home for weeks on end. Without the support and the sacrifice of our family, our friends, and our Tulsa Fire Department family, my fifty days of active treatment would have been infinitely more difficult. The compassion and hospitality of others enabled us to receive the care we needed.

The Hospitality House of Tulsa is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that offers families a ‘home away from home’ while enduring a medical crisis. I have found the same compassion and generosity that supported me during my battle with cancer is the very foundation of this organization. I am inspired to help them provide hope and comfort to others facing medical adversities.

Here is how you can help. Commit to doing push-ups for fifty consecutive days beginning February 15th and ending April 5th. Please find sponsors to donate a penny, nickel, dime, quarter, or dollar per push-up. All of your tax-exempt proceeds will benefit Hospitality House of Tulsa and will go directly to helping individuals and their families as they seek medical treatment in our city. Click here to download the Half a Hundred for Hospitality form.

Win the Fight,
John Buck

Growing up in Hospitality, Oklahoma

I had the wonderful privilege of growing up in a typical rural community in Western Oklahoma. My father was the High School football coach, my mother was the Jr. High School secretary. Needless to say, I couldn’t get away with anything in that small town!

It was in that community where I first experienced Biblical hospitality at its best. My roots and passion for helping families in medical crisis began there. When I was 17 years old, my family experienced a serious medical crisis. My mother was diagnosed with an advanced stage of breast cancer. She and my father would travel to Oklahoma City, two hours from home, over many months for surgeries and inpatient chemotherapy.

With three very active teenagers at home, my parents were very worried about leaving us. Their concern was short lived though as we watched the entire community support us during that time. Our church family would pray and bring in meals for us, our school family would make sure we had rides to our church, school, and sports commitments, that uniforms were washed and ready, and that our academic studies did not suffer.

Two years of treatments brought many ups and downs to our family. My parents spared us the details concerning the financial impact this terrible disease was having on our family, but we knew. Toward the end of that second year, my mother was referred to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston, Texas for trial studies.

As they were preparing to board the airplane in Oklahoma City that early morning, the President of our local Sports Booster Club greeted them at the airport. He asked if they knew where they would be staying during their visit to Houston. My parents explained they didn’t have a firm plan and thought they would figure it out when they arrived. That dear man then shared that our community had come together for the purpose of making sure they had lodging and meals while there. He handed my father $700 to meet those needs during this crisis. What a wonderful expression of support!

Sadly, my mother did not survive her diagnosis. My family and community grieved deeply. But even in the midst of that grief, these wonderful people surrounded us with all the love and support we needed to survive the loss. The lessons I learned and the love exemplified to me through this small community will never be forgotten.

If you are ever traveling on I-40 West, just before you get to the Texas panhandle, look for that town. Oh, the highway sign might display the name Sayre, Oklahoma; but to me, it reads Hospitality, Oklahoma.

Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice Hospitality.
Romans 12:13 (NIV)