My Friend, Chuck Stophel

These last two weeks have been weeks of heavy sorrow for me and all of us at Hospitality House.  Losing two dear friends who gave so much to see that the vision for this ministry would become reality has been hard.  Not as hard on me, as it has been for their families and that is where my prayers are focused now.

People always want to hear the story of how Hospitality House was started.  It's a great story, and I never tire of telling how God miraculously brought this vision about.  He used complete strangers that would do amazing things to make sure His ministry of hospitality would be a reality in a short period of time.  One of the first strangers that came across our path and propelled us into action was Chuck Stophel.

We met Chuck in 2005 through a mutual friend.  Chuck, being a heart transplant recipient, was already in the hospitality ministry by providing an apartment near Saint Francis hospital for transplant patients and families who needed lodging for the before, during and after needs around the transplant process. We had an immediate connection because of this.


Chuck was very excited to hear about the vision of Hospitality House and vowed to help in any way he could.  We had just formed the non-profit, had no money, no house, and nothing really except a vision.  But to Chuck, that was all we needed!

One day that year, Chuck called me and said, "Toni, I just ran into a family at Saint Francis ICU waiting room and they need your help. They don't have anywhere to stay, tragic situation and you need to come meet with them ASAP!"  I said, "Chuck, I have nowhere to put this family, we have nothing, no house, no money, nothing! What can I possibly do?"  He encouraged me to just come up to the hospital and meet them and hear their story.  So I did. (Have you ever tried to tell Chuck Stophel that you CAN'T do something?)

The family was Mickey and Judy Bell, from Farris, Oklahoma.  Tragic story, yes, and they needed help.  I called Chuck back to report that Brooke and I had met with them, but expressed my frustration of not being able to help them because we didn't have a house yet.  He quickly said, "You know what, I don't have a transplant patient or family staying in the transplant apartment, why don't you use that to get your feet wet in this and we'll go from there."  WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?  Chuck generously shared what he had available so that a family could be served and God could show me what He had in mind for Hospitality House's near future.

So, Brooke and I readied the apartment and checked them in.  You can see the Bell Family Story here:
http://www.tulsahospitalityhouse.org/multimedia.htm

You see, when God had shared the vision of Hospitality House with me, I could envision a huge house, multiple bedrooms, bathrooms, common areas, which is the typical model of hospital hospitality houses.  God had a different plan for our beginnings.  By Chuck allowing us to use the transplant apartment to serve our first family, it opened my mind to how the ministry of hospitality is not confined to only one model of a building. The ministry of hospitality is about people.

Six months later, I received a call from the CEO of Hillcrest Medical Center that they had just bought an 8-unit apartment complex near their campus and wanted to offer it to us for $1 a year lease donation!  If Chuck had not been willing to share what he had so that we could have that experience, I doubt my mind would have been ready to accept this amazing gift from God through Hillcrest Medical Center.

Chuck and I have remained friends since that experience.  We would visit on the phone about the growth of Hospitality House and his music and speaking ministries.  We were great encouragers for each other, although I knew I always walked away with more encouragement after each encounter.

We had lunch earlier this year, Cosmos, our favorite spot on Brookside.  He shared that he was battling cancer again, but extremely positive and still encouraging. He asked me about my life and what God was doing.  I shared about my new passion of ballroom dancing and my new friends through that.  He loved it!  Chuck is a very passionate and demonstrative character. He wanted to know more so we talked for about 30 minutes about dancing. LOL!  He told me that day, "Ok, Toni, you've got me excited about this.  When I recover from this round of treatments and get my legs back under me, we are going to dance!"

I kept up with his battle though phone calls and facebook posting and continued to pray.  I went to the hospital two weeks ago to check in on Chuck's progress in rehab.  He and Sara were eating in the dining room on the Rehab floor and when he saw me he said "Oh My Goodness, Toni Moore, what are you doing here?!"  I reminded him that I was here for our first dance!  We laughed and encouraged each other again in our lives. He was so ready to finish up his rehab so he could go home with his wonderful family and get back to work and ministry.

God had a bigger plan.  Chuck went back into ICU last week. Yesterday he was looking into the eyes of his wife Sara and their children, and then... he was looking into the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ.  We had prayed for a healing and in a moment, it was given, completely and eternally.  Chuck made the journey from his temporary home and body to his eternal home and glorified healed body.

He was a loving, committed husband, an amazing dad, incredible friend, wonderful vocalist and communicator of the gospel message.  He left a huge heart-print on so many peoples' lives across this country.  I'm one of them.  Thank you, Chuck, for your passion, humor, excitement, encouragement, gifts and for glorifying God in your life and your death.  I know you are praising God face to face now in song, words and dancing.  I will see you again, my friend, so save me a dance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEihOGxlRFM - Chuck Stophel, When Life Gives You Lemons

Clydella Hentschel - Carry the Torch

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.   (Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV)

⁵ But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. ⁶ For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day —and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:5-6 NIV)

 
Eight years ago, in a room full of amazing women, I shared my story of how God called me to start this non-profit ministry. I didn't know her before that day, I'll never forget her now.  It was a fast friendship. She wanted to help, and did she ever!  She introduced me to people who could also help, she opened doors of opportunity and escorted me through them, she generously gave and encouraged others to do the same, and she had great compassion on the oppressed and poor.  Our friendship grew and while she served professionally on my Board of Directors at Hospitality House, that was only one facet of the gem she was to me.  I was motherless, she was daughter less.  She still had some mothering to give, I still had a lot to learn.  So in our times together, I would listen for the wisdom that she would share.  Sure, she gave advice on business, non-profits, networking in Tulsa, etc. She taught me to love Plan B!  (That's the plan you start to love when your Plan A doesn't quite work out.  LOL!)

But the lessons I cherished the most were the lessons on faith, family, and friendships.  She was an amazing wife to Dave, a wonderful mother to 3 men, and a proud grandmother to her precious grandchildren.  She always spoke highly of her family.  She was a friend to so many people.  When you became friends with Clydella, you became lifelong friends.  She didn't let her friends go, ever!  She restored my faith and trust in having close girlfriends.  I was able to observe her relationship with her girlfriends at Children's Medical Charities Association, especially the Thursday morning gals. The real Steel Magnolias.  It was special!
It was her relationship with Christ that shined through every relationship she had.  She loved our Lord with all her being, in thought, in word, and in deed.  It was her strong faith in God that ministered to me many days.  She was very much a 'Paul' in my life, and I was a "Timothy".


This last year, her health began to fail her, but her Lord never did.  I saw her for the last time on Monday afternoon as she rested, a treasured goodbye. Tuesday night, she slipped away from her earthly body and was escorted into the presence of God.  She fought the good fight, she ran the race well, and she finished well!  She carried the torch of generosity, philanthropy, compassion, and ministry for so many in the Tulsa area and beyond.    It is our honor, privilege, and responsibility, to continue to carry that torch.  She left a God - glorifying legacy!  Thank you, Clydella,  for all you've done for so many in our community and for our Lord.

And exactly who is my neighbor?

I live in a very quiet rural neighborhead and have great neighbors.  I strive to be a good neighbor, but when my two redbone coonhounds escaped from the backyard and began chasing my neighbor's chickens, I think my 'good neighbor' status might have been questioned. 

The question of 'Who exactly is my neighbor?' was asked of Jesus by a teacher of the law; one who knew the law well but needed to justify his attitude of only loving those he knew or loving people when it was convenient. 

Jesus answered his question with the parable of the Good Samaritan.  If you need a refresher on the story, click here.  The man who was beaten, robbed, and left for dead was never identified by his religion, social or economic class, marital status, or criminal history.  He was.... a human being.  Someone's son, possibly someone's brother or father.

The one least likely to stop and help did just that.   Jesus' question back to the law expert was "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”   The man answered him, "The one who had mercy on him".  That was the correct answer, but that understanding was expected to be followed up with action.  Jesus responded to him by saying, "Go and do likewise." Compassion in Action!

Look around you.  Who are your neighbors?  Have mercy and act on it. 

My neighbors showed me great mercy and forgiveness concerning my dogs chasing their chickens, especially when they saw one of my dogs proudly carrying their slane rooster in her mouth.  I guess I need to do a little more work teaching those dogs the difference between a chicken and a racoon.

Unexpected Hospitality

She was obviously having a bad day. As we waited in long line at a local sandwich shop, I noticed her looking at her watch often, fumbling through her purse looking for something important, and noticed the stressful look on her face. All the sudden the purse tipped out of her hands and the contents spilled out on the floor. She sighed heavily, bent down and started to collect her items and hastily put them back in her purse. I’ve had days like that before, haven’t you?

I didn’t know her, but from the medical uniform she wore, I knew she was in the nursing profession and obviously needed to catch a quick lunch so she could get back to caring for patients who would need her to be on her best that day.

As I ordered my sandwich, my prayer thought was “God, she could sure use a break today”. That prayer thought quickly brought a response of “Then why don’t you give her a break?”
What was I to do? She was a stranger in a food line. What could I do that could possibly help?

I opened my purse to pay and noticed I had a little extra cash that day. I quickly and quietly
told the cashier that I would be pay for both my lunch and the nurse’s lunch. The cashier caught my desire to be anonymous and quickly rang up both lunches. I paid and left the restaurant asking God to use that simple gesture to help that nurse know how much she is appreciated and needed by so many.

Romans 12:13 tells us to “Share with God’s people in need, practice hospitality” . What that means is that we are to show brotherly love to strangers. What can you do today for a stranger that will show them God’s love?

We all hold keys to opening more doors for families in medical crisis. How can you help strangers facing a medical crisis in Tulsa?

Volunteer at Hospitality House in a capacity that you are skilled and passionate about.

Organize a supply drive in your workplace, school, or church.

Consider supporting families in medical crisis through:
o Monthly donations to HHT
o Matching funds opportunity through your employer
o Become a legacy supporter through estate planning.

For more information on how you can unlock doors for medical families, contact us at
918-794-0088 or www.hhtulsa.org